32) Keep me from running
There’s a wedding here on Saturday. The couple had asked for their wedding to feature on the electronic billboard at the front of the church, which is a lovely thing. So, this morning, after watering the garden, I snipped a rose for the image. I then found some old silver and peach ribbon in the study drawer, where I keep old wrapping paper from gifts given to me. I then went to an old shoebox and pulled out my old wedding ring and one other ring to take a photo. And this Saturday, the image will appear on the billboard behind words of welcome and celebration for the happy couple.
It’s not news: I love weddings! I love how they speak of hope. I love them because they are often an opportunity to catch up with people you don’t see that often. And I love them because you get to dress up and eat good food and drink good wine! It’s no secret that if there’s one homily I can give without my notes, it is of the wedding of Cana – how Jesus turns water into wine and saves a celebration. And how the wine that Jesus makes is the best wine! It’s the first miracle recorded in John’s Gospel, and it perfectly sets the tone for Jesus’ ministry through John’s eyes.
“For God so loved the world…”
“I came that you might have life, and life abundant”
“I have called you friends”
“I’m standing at the door knocking, if you open the door I’ll come in and we’ll eat together as friends, you with me, me with you.”
Love, friendship, abundant life, celebrating together over a meal. I could talk about it all day – the celebrations in Luke 15, David’s table spread before Him, Hannah regaining her appetite, Elijah being fed time and time again – our God who satisfies our hunger.
My own relationship came to its end on the Sunday just before last. It was our 5th anniversary – a milestone, and also a vantage point for reflection. I knew the breakup was coming for quite a while, but there is a sadness that can take your breath away even when you know to expect it. I don’t suppose I’ve ever got that side of life quite right...
In the aftermath, it has been helpful for me to remember that endings sometimes pave the way for new beginnings, and that’s a hopeful thought. One of my favourite songs carries the line, “The sun is settin' like molasses in the sky.” Even the end of a day can have a rich sweetness. That song, by the way, is called Black Velvet. Back in 1990, I worked in the same office complex as my mum. Because I still couldn’t drive, she drove us into work together. She must have listened to that song a thousand times that year… Funny how old memories creep up.
You know, there’s such blessing in the church calendar at this time of year. Last week we celebrated the Feast of Christ the King. We reflected on how Christ reigns over doubt, despair, disappointment, and defeat. In the Advent season ahead, we will meditate on the coming Christ, and the message of hope, peace, joy, and love that He brings. This time of year invites us to “go now even unto Bethlehem and see what’s happened.” This Christ-child, in all vulnerability and manger-lowliness, come to save us in all our own frailty and weaknesses.
I especially love the image John of the Cross gives us: “God there in the manger cried and moaned… in God, man’s weeping.” I can take my own sorrows to Him, and know myself heard and understood. After all, where else would I go? Like Simon says, “You have the words of eternal life.” And I need that life. I want that life. “Love me like an ocean drowns a sinking ship – all my life I’ve been running for the hills…” go the words of the song. Lord, love me that way, and keep me from running. Bring me into Your banqueting hall. May Your banner over me be love. Let ours be the one relationship I have that will never end.
I took myself out for a long hike yesterday in the Southern Lofties. There were lots of blue flowers everywhere – Brunonia, Patersonia, and Wahlenbergia. There was also the last of the Little Duck Orchids, and the very first of the Hyacinth Orchids. The changing seasons with their comings and goings. And God holding it all in His hands.
A friend of mine will be getting married in a fortnight, and I cannot wait. I’ll get to wear a tie, and will catch up with friends, and celebrate everything that is hopeful and joyful about love and commitment, and the future. My heart is full just thinking about it. And my heart is full resting in God’s embrace. I’m looking forward: summer is coming, and I may yet see the Spiranthes in flower; and next year, I’ll walk the hills of Somerset and Wiltshire again. I have known love. I am loved by the God who Is love.
Olly Ponsonby, November 2024
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Scripture refs. Jn 2:1-10, Jn 3:16, Jn 10:10, Jn 15:15, Rev 3:20 NLT, Lk 15, Ps 23:5, 1 Sam 1:18, 1 Kgs 17:2-6, 15-16, 1 Kgs 19:6-8, Luke 2:15, Jn 6:68, Song 2:4.
“The sun is settin’ like…” taken from “Black Velvet” by Christopher Ward, 1987. https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/alannahmyles/blackvelvet.html
John of the Cross, “Romance 9: The Birth of Christ”. 1578. Cited in Anne Hunt. 2010. The Trinity: Insights from the Mystics.
“Love me like an ocean…” is from the song “Make peace with it” by Jadea Kelly, Tim Abraham and Garrison Starr, 2019. https://genius.com/Garrison-starr-make-peace-with-it-lyrics.