42) "My Heart has Joined the Thousand"
There’s a promise of rain overnight and tomorrow. Last week’s predicted rain didn’t eventuate. I thought I heard something on the metal roof and stepped outside only to count six spots of rain on the blue copper birdbath. Looking up at the cloudy sky, I could feel any hopefulness I had slipping away. Even my next-door neighbour had wandered out to see if rain was really here, but she quickly rolled her eyes and returned indoors, carrying her disappointment with her.
But the weather forecasters are much more confident this evening. And I, too, can’t help but feel hopeful.
Maybe it’s because my test results came back earlier today, and were good. I mean good, inasmuch as there’s nothing really sinister going on. Perhaps less good to see the word “stress” written as a cause in black and white on the page.
Or maybe it’s because this Friday will mark three weeks since I returned to the ministry of chaplaincy. I feel like I know what I’m doing again. Has that feeling been missing in action these past couple of years?
Or maybe it could be because I’ve been back into Eldercare a couple of times this week to see my old friend Mick, and have bumped into lots of old familiar faces. Mick’s not doing so well right now. Didn’t I say just the other day – give us enough time to love those we love...
Earlier today I finished off a sermon I’d been writing on the anointing in Bethany. I find myself struck time and time again by the sentence “the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil.” I’ve been meditating on Mary’s devotion, and the expansiveness of her worship. Like ripples in a pond, the ever-widening circle of impact from our acts of loving service. “Wherever the Gospel is proclaimed in the whole world,” says Jesus, “what this woman has done will also be told in memory of her.”
I said as much to Mick this afternoon. I said how I had admired his faithfulness, and how he had been a man in love with his God – for all to see. Well done, good and faithful servant – those words of Scripture come to mind. Mick wasn’t able to talk today, but I spotted a tear in the corner of his eye as I talked about Mary of Bethany. I know, and Mick knows, that soon, every tear will be wiped away, and worship will be unhindered. I’m reminded of Wesley’s words, “Changed from glory into glory till in Heav'n we take our place, till we cast our crowns before thee, lost in wonder, love, and praise.”
Earlier this week, Mick pointed to his Bible. I grabbed it, and it fell open at Isaiah. And so, I read to Mick from Isaiah 43, a passage I love and used at a baptism service only a couple of months ago.
“This is what the LORD says,
‘I made you,
I have called you by name,
you are mine,
and when you pass through the waters, I will be with you,
you are precious in my sight,
and I love you.’”
This man of God. Humble and faithful servant. Precious in God’s eyes. And my friend.
I wish I’d seen more of Mick this past two years. The truth is, I’ve not been seeing any of my friends as much as I used to. I guess life and work and tiredness get in the way. Midge’s visit earlier this year reminded me how important and how life-giving it is to make time for friends. I’m so practiced at being on my own these days; I think I’m missing out on so much living. I think of Mona’s words in that San Francisco novel, “Sometimes I think I'd settle for five good friends.” I think I would too. I know I have them in England, but down here… All of this came into stark relief when I had that general anaesthetic last week and needed someone to take care of me for twenty-four hours. Thankfully, two friends offered, and a third agreed when I asked. Thank God for them. Thank God for them.
Before visiting Mick on Monday, I climbed Mount Billy in search of the first midge orchids of the new season. I had hoped that Midge and I might spot an early one while she was over here in February, but the ground is so dry, and midges need rain. On Monday though, a friend gave me an idea of the best spots to find some, and despite the drought, I managed to spot a couple of very tiny ones beginning to open.
The last time I’d been to Mount Billy must have been two or three years ago in search of hare orchids. With their “ears” they do look a little like hares. They also look like little colourful aliens – green, purple and pink, with a single yellow “eye.”
Talking of hares, I’ve been reading a wonderful biography called Raising Hare, written by a woman who rescued a leveret, and somehow in the process reassessed and rescued her life. The last two books I read were “The Serviceberry: An Economy of Gifts and Abundance” and “The Orchid Outlaw: On a Mission to Save our Rarest Flowers.” One talks of reciprocity in nature, the other of one man’s passion to preserve several dying species. All three of these books are teaching me something about the wonder of Creation, and how nothing happens in isolation. God’s design is symbiotic, reciprocal, and communal. I can see how friendship, comradeship, and brotherhood fit so neatly into this universe. The things we do have their impact on others and on this world. Like the story of Mary’s anointing. Like Mick’s own faithfulness.
Human greed and its impact aside, nature is sufficient, cyclical, and regenerative. Beginnings and endings are part of its make-up. Goodbyes are part of the rolling story.
I expect that before too long I’ll be saying a final goodbye to my friend Mick. “My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped running today,” says Hazel in Watership Down. And yet I hold on to Jesus’ words, “in My Father’s house are many dwelling places… I am going to prepare a place for you.” Maybe one day, Mick and I will be neighbours in that fair place.
There’s a promise of rain overnight and tomorrow. The weather forecasters are much more confident this evening. The midge and hare orchids may soon be plentiful. And I can’t help but feel hopeful.
Olly Ponsonby, March 2025
* * *
Scripture refs. Include Jn 12:3, Mk 14:9, Mt 25:23, Rev 21:4, Is 43:1-4, Acts 2:44-45, Ro 8:22, Jn 14:2, 1 Cor 13:12.
Mick’s name has been changed.
“Changed from glory…” taken from “Love Divine all loves excelling” by Charles Wesley, 1747
“Sometimes I’d settle…” quote taken from “Tales of the City” by Armistead Maupin, 1978
Raising Hare: A Memoir is by Chloe Dalton, 2024
“The Serviceberry: An Economy of Gifts and Abundance” is by Robin Wall Kimmerer, 2024
“The Orchid Outlaw: On a Mission to Save our Rarest Flowers” is by Ben Jacob, 2023
“My heart has joined the Thousand…” quote taken from Watership Down by Richard Adams, 1972